The "Odd" Couple

Recently, Bella came to me and filled me in on one of her many observations.  "My mommy and daddy don't live together" she said.  At age 3 1/2 she is well aware that that is not the way that it was intended.  I don't know if she has been discussing this with her buddies at school, but she already sees that she is different.  Of course this got MY brain ticking.
Since Jon and I were divorced, people have given us strange looks. I think these looks are out of confusion. Confusion that the current dynamic of our relationship is nothing like that of many other divorced couples.  They assume that the reason we are not married is because we hate each other, and that was the END of it. This assumption is totally untrue, but causes me to question whether it is "right" for us to have quality time.  That isn't completely true.  The reason that Jon and I are divorced is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.  I think that for both of us, what is most important, is Bella's development and happiness as a child.  One of the reasons development and happiness are SO important to me is because they weren't met for me when I was her age and many childhood years to follow.  
In my opinion, the family time that Jon and I spend with Bella is only beneficial to her.  It allows us the opportunity to practice our parenting skills with one another, and prove to her that A) it is a good thing to spend time together B)she can't manipulate us :-) Additionally, I think it is good for her to see that we like each other as people, and don't mind taking bike rides together or even share a meal.  It just HAS to be the best option for her.  The alternative would be that Bella only gets to spend time with mommy when she is at mommy's house and time with daddy when she is at daddy's.  Meeting on occasion for parent teacher conferences doesn't seem like enough.  I want her to feel that she is loved unconditionally and equally by both of us for her whole life.....not just when she is old enough to grasp every material thing that we are willing to give her.
Silly it may seem, but this is an issue I have struggled with, tossed around, and hopefully come to peace with.  Just because we are divorced does not mean that we can't have a healthy friendship in displaying that family time is important to us. Yes, even if we live in different houses. 


Jana